I HATE YARD WORK

My Name in Neon (chalk)

Yard work is the one chore I dread the most. I wake up Saturday morning knowing the yard needs to be mowed, weeds trimmed and the gutters cleaned out. I will drink a cup of coffee, perhaps 3 or four, while I “think” about how to form a plan of attack and get it all accomplished. In essence, however, I’m just putting off what I know needs to be done, so it isn't really the yard work I dread as much as actually starting it. It’s been said, “Every journey begins with the first step.” The same is true with yard work, it all begins with the first step toward the garage for the yard tools. Each tool has its purpose to accomplish, a specific task to, supposedly, make my job easier and more tolerable. But I know I am still going to sweat and get dirty.

Of all the chores I do, the one I dread the most is the cleaning out of the gutters. It involves getting out the ladder, setting it up in the right spot then climbing it, one rung at a time, while carrying my leaf blower. I just know it’s going to be frustrating at times and a struggle to get those leaves out. I’m going to get sweaty not to mention all the leaves and gunk covering me as the blower forces them into the air. Bottom line is it’s not glamorous. Just the opposite in fact. It can get extremely dirty, and difficult at times. It’s actually much like climbing the ladder to success.

Too often when we look at our successful heroes who are walking red carpets and generally living the “jet-set” that’s all we see, the glamour. I’ve been guilty of looking at the name in lights and forgetting about the times when their name was written in sharpie. I rolled into Louisiana once, excited to do my show thinking, “They’ve never heard anything like me” until I saw my name written in neon chalk on the sign out front. Then, with laughter in my head, I realized my name will be erased with the swipe of the hand or a good strong breeze. 

Staring at our heroes standing at the top of the ladder, we totally overlook all the rungs they stepped on to get there. The ones standing at the top, for the most part, know what it took. They know on one rung they learned the value of networking. On another was the lesson of marketing. Then others consisting of practice, material, business and the rungs go on and one. For the entertainer it’s in those dive bars they learned the value of connection or how to further hone their art form. Every rung brings you higher, closer to the end goal. Make no mistake, however, you might slip on a rung or get stuck on one for a time, but they will take you closer to your dreams as you climb. Slow or fast, you still have to climb it one rung at a time.

Excuse me now while I go get my ladder and work in the yard. Man, I hate yard work.

THE INVISIBLE MAN

I remember going to dances in high school and seeing those group of kids standing along the perimeter of the room not sure what to do. I’m not sure how they are referred to now days, but we called them wall flowers back in the day. Most movies depict those awkward teenagers as nerds and just socially inept. Outcasts from the social elite even to the point where they walk the hallways like ghosts. You never really see them as they quietly blend into the background, never noticed or doing anything to draw attention to themselves. These invisible students just go about their lives, living in the shadows doing what they do hardly ever finding their way into the light.

This invisible mentality can also move from high school/college right into your work life. In the move The Office there was a character who just came to work, stayed quiet and no one even noticed him even when they discovered he had not received a paycheck for a long period of time. With belly laughs, we laugh at those scenarios the characters find themselves, mainly because, we identify with them. Yet we still get up the next morning go to work only to blend in. Creativity is hidden, even squelched. Ideas are dismissed and along we go one of many who clock in then clock out as wall flowers.

How many reading this have ever felt like you are in the background? Not even background noise just background, almost invisible. I know I’ve felt this way. I live on stage in front of people all the time yet I find myself struggling to not be invisible. It is a struggle. People drift to the sidelines for a variety of reasons. Some lack the self-confidence to be involved, share little to no interests with the group, or a number of other reasons. But how does one correct this? How can they go from being invisible to being seen? The quick and most honest answer I have is, I don’t know. I don’t know what the psychologist and the other experts on this subject will tell you. All I know for sure is what I do, what works for me.

In a nutshell, I decide not be background. It’s a conscience effort. Every day I wake and I have a decision to make. A decision whether I will be invisible, overlooked and forgotten or not be. Every morning I make the decision to walk out of my house with my head up seeking to make my way. Maybe this will help you wake up and decide to not be background.

I wake up and decide on this day I will pursue my passion. My passion is to be an entertainer and everything I choose to do has to fit under this heading. From comedy, to writing and even giving speeches, I decide. I wake up deciding to follow my passion. Although I do get sidetracked even a bit distracted and go off-roading so to speak, it’s a decision I conscientiously have to make. My passion is important to me, which is why it’s a passion. If it weren't my passion it would be an interest or worse just a hobby.

The second decision I wake up making is perhaps the hardest but I still make it. It isn’t easy but it has to be done and to be honest sometimes I fail. But I don’t allow it to stop me, in fact it makes me become more resolute in this decision. In addition to deciding to follow my passion, I wake up and decide “not everyone has to notice me.” Yep, that’s it and it is hard especially for someone who feeds on the attention. You have to decide to be happy with who you are even when no one is looking. You must decide what you will be when you are alone.

To stop being a wilting wall flower and be visible all you have to do is wake up and decide. Trust me, it’s easier said than done, but you can do it.

OUTLAWS ALWAYS TAKE THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Outlaws have always had a peculiar way of capturing our interest. We seem to be more fascinated with those who color outside the lines than those who use the lines as a guide. Many reading this may think I’m referring to the likes of Jessie James and Billy the Kid, although, colorful Outlaws, I’m writing about those who are the Outlaws in any particular industry, namely entertainment. Every profession has them. Take Galileo for instance. He went against the Scientific & Religious views when he touted the unpopular view of the Earth rotating around the Sun rather than the other way. He even spent time in jail for it.

The thing about Outlaws is they refuse to be boxed in by society rules and norms. Rather, they often become our heroes and role models in life. George Washington and the rest of the revolutionaries are great examples of this, rebelling against the status quo and the British Empire. As history has proved, it’s worked out pretty well. When you walk through the halls of the history of the world you see portrait after portrait of rebels, Outlaws and the like who go against the grain only to be regarded as heroes. Within the entertainment world it isn't any different. It’s those who choose to go their own way we turn into legends, eventually.

Artists such as Waylon Jennings fight for what they believe in and for who they are at their core. His “Wanted: The Outlaws” album was the first Platinum album to be seen in Nashville much to the chagrin of the radio executives (until they saw money was to be made). Elvis Presley chose to shake and gyrate his body to the point society called him the Devil. Now we simply know him as the King of Rock & Roll, a hero. The Blue Collar Comedy Tour is an example for four guys going against what the comedy hierarchy says was true comedy entertainment, to the point the higher ups wanted nothing to do with Foxworthy and the boys. But they became the highest grossing comedy tour in the history of comedy tours, then the entertainment world jumped on their bandwagon. Three examples of Outlaws becoming heroes.

What it boils down to is those who make the rules and “control” the given industry often times have no idea what will actually work. They strong arm and bully their “show ponies” making them dance to the beat they set. They disavow and disown anyone who goes against the path they've set. Enter the Outlaw. He will do his own thing even if there are no riches involved. He will go his own way, even if alone. He will not be bullied and sets his own beat, even if he has to play all the instruments himself.

Robert Frost spoke of the outlaw (sort of) in his poem, The Road Less Traveled. The Outlaw takes this road. This road isn't easy, oftentimes lonely and has the occasional pothole of doubt. He is branded the rebel, the heretic and even of the devil (remember Elvis) but he wouldn't have it any other way. His mind just works differently. His attitude is his own. His satisfaction is knowing he is true to himself.

On the heart of the Outlaw are the last words of Robert Frost’s poem, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” All the difference indeed.

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

-          Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

NASHVILLE: The Land of DREAMERS and DOERS.

A few weeks ago I had a three hour layover in one of the greatest cities in the country, Nashville, TN. So I spent this time in the World Famous Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge (airport edition). As I sat there, the place was busting at the seams. The singer on stage was playing and singing old country classics. This packed restaurant became a classic country choir and it was amazingly fun. If I had to have a layover, I couldn't have planned it any better. Three hours in Music City USA and I felt the old fires burning deep inside me. Fires that can only be fueled by the atmosphere of Nashville, even if I only made it as far as the airport.

This is what makes this town such a unique place. On every corner you see and hear people, young and old, living out their dream of making it. Keep in mind their idea of “making it” may just be playing music for a living whether they’re heard on the radio or not. Dream chasing just oozes from the veins here. One cannot walk into a bar in the lower Broadway area and not hear music playing. It happens at all hours, different bands and singers switching shifts throughout the day just like the wait staff. From all over the country, each one came to this town just to play music in hopes of being discovered or bumping into someone already on the radio.  Nashville, TN the place where people come to chase their dreams. They may drive beat up trucks or arrive on a bus but they come, their dreams are what puts the breath in their lungs, so they come.

People all over America have dreams. They dream of a nice home with the perfect family. They dream of winning the lottery. They dream of their name in lights or on playbills. It isn't any accident the term “American Dream” was coined. We are dreamers. I have them, you have them and those singers in Nashville have them. However, there is more to it than just having dream. It’s what sets you apart from the dreamers to the doers that makes the difference. Actually, it’s the determination to go from dreamer to doer that makes one successful.

Far too many people are content to dream. Dreams help us sleep. Dreams give us something to talk about. But if dreaming is all we do then the streets of Nashville would grow quiet and stages across the country would be empty. It’s the drive, the determination that turns dreams into music. It transforms dreams into reality. It isn't just in the entertainment world, it’s in every realm, where determined dreamers find success, which isn't always fame and fortune, but success nonetheless.

The difference between the Dreamers and the Doers is The Dreamers dream then sleep and the Doers dream then they do. Which one will you be, a slumbering Dreamer or a successful Doer?

LOOK!...A SQUIRREL.

Plans today is to go for a long bike ride. It’s my New Year’s resolution from last year. Ride my bicycle at least three days a week, however winter was a rough one and I got out the habit. I felt guilty about it so I sat around until that feeling went away. Today that is all going to change. I haven’t gained all my weight back from being on a bike riding hiatus but I have gained some. When I get started here in a little bit I will be ahead of the curve. By the time summer hits I will not only look better more importantly I will feel better. Here lately too many of contemporaries have passed away due to unhealthy living, that’s not going to be me. I’m planning one being here a bit longer.

Well, that’s how my morning began. When I got up I put on my exercise shorts and tee shirt with all the intentions of the world of going. When I ride, I really ride. 9 miles is minimum for me and its nothing for me to be return a few hours later having rode 18 miles or more. As I was preparing to leave Shadow needed to go out to do whatever it is he needed to do outside which among those activities usually includes chasing lizards. If he gets one, which 9 times out of 10 he does, it will be a little bit before he is ready to come back in. Knowing this, I grabbed my trusty laptop and proceeded to work. Before I knew it, I was in the middle of a project and the juices were flowing. Briefly interrupted to let shadow back in, I was engulfed and had all but forgotten to go for a ride. Distractions number 1 and number 2.

OK, it’s time to re-group and get out there to ride. I have to get in better shape. So here we go, time to ride. Wait, look at that sink. Those girls of mine! I wish they could do their chores without being told. I can’t leave it like that. I can’t stand a dirty kitchen. Many people don’t know this about me but I like to cook. I don’t cook often and it’s usually something I do on the grill or smoker but I want a clean kitchen just in case I take the notion to cook something. So off to straighten the kitchen. Distraction number 3.

Well the kitchen looks better, however it’s time for Rebecca to come in from school so now I just can’t go. She can’t come home with me not here (although she does so about every other day) because if I’m gone she will just text me until I can’t concentrate on my ride. So I might as well give up on my ride today and begin brand new tomorrow. Distraction number 4 and the final one. Distractions 1 and Vic 0.

How many times do we let the distractions of life get in our way of accomplishing what we want? It could be a dream, a chore or in my case, a bike ride (exercise) but those minor distractions mount up to form what seems to be an insurmountable wall and we just give up. It’s those distractions which get in the way of our dreams. Too often our dreams sit up on the shelf because we have allowed the distractions of life to get in the way and our fullest potential is never achieved. It’s a conscience effort to move past those distractions, those items in your way to achieve your success, whatever it may be.

So tomorrow morning I will get up take my daughter to school and begin brand new with a conscience effort of determination to reach my success. I've already started, I put air in the tires of my bike. That’s step one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

It’s April 13, 2014 and I sitting in the World Famous Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge in Nashville, TN (Airport edition). In here there’s good music, a packed house and something to eat. Hanging out with complete strangers singing classic songs is a pretty good way to spend a 3 hour layover. I met a cool young country singer trying make a living doing what he loves to do and he’s good at it.

As much as I love town and a part of me is tempted to just stay, I must get back to Orlando. You see, tomorrow is a very special day, it’s my baby girl’s birthday. It isn't one big ones but that doesn't make it any less special. She turns 15 tomorrow and has been counting it down since New Year’s Day I believe. She thinks that is fun and for her I suppose it is. I remember my birthdays back in the day, the anticipation of its arrival, the excitement and the feeling of becoming older, so I get it. But it still doesn't change the fact my baby girl is getting older and it hurt a little.

This little girl growing up was my shadow, wanting to go where I go and do what I did. She wanted to be fishing when I went fishing or just sit next to me on the couch. Now days she is more interested in manicures and boys than worms and fishing (although she will still go when asked – once a redneck girl always a redneck girl). The times where she sits next to me snuggled up on the couch is getting fewer and fewer as the days pass by. She thinks it’s fun to watch Say Yes to the Dress while to me it just means she’s growing up and already dreaming of leaving me to begin a new life. But as a father it’s what I do. I raised her to be strong, independent and bait her own hook when fishing. There’s still a tinge of hurt with each birthday that passes.  With this one she gets her permit already in anticipation of the next one.

She spends hours in the bathroom doing make-up, her hair and becoming a young woman. With each birthday the time draws nearer to when she will gain the favor of a young man and leave. Gone will be the little girl who scared me with blood streaming down her face from jumping on her sister’s bed. The one who asked me to lay beside her and tell her bedtime stories. Next on the agenda will be to teach her to drive and she wants to drive my truck, which is such a big girl thing to do. Then before I know will be graduation, college and well other events I am not looking forward to but I will always do the Daddy thing, smile.

On Monday, we will celebrate her birth. We will celebrate her growing up. As for me, I will put on a brave Daddy smile masking the hurt of losing my little girl to this young woman blowing out those candles.

YOU'RE MY HERO, CHARLIE BROWN

Growing up one of my favorite cartoons were the Peanuts. It didn't matter whether it was the holiday classics shown on the television or the daily strip in the newspaper, I loved them and I still do. There was always a mis-adventure involving Charlie Brown and his band of friends. The first “troubled child” we knew about in America and we all still loved him, perhaps identifying with him on some level. It didn't matter that he was always the losing pitcher on his baseball team or missing that football every single time, we loved him. Even when he had to see the psychiatrist at a nickel per visit, we never stopped rooting for him. Never stopped being in his corner, cheering for him. Hoping this time it would be different for him, but it never really seemed to work out just right.

Could it be the fault of those around him dragging or holding him down? There’s the little sister who is not only more popular but has a major crush on Charlie’s best friend, Linus. Oh Linus. Dragging his security towel everywhere he went, he stood by Charlie Brown ready with advice. What about Lucy, the nickel psychiatrist, who always seemed to belittle him with insults? Peppermint Patty, who liked “Chuck” but was very domineering over him. Of course we can’t forget about his beagle, Snoopy. A very talented dog who also would outshine his owner. The list could go on, the Pigpen, the accomplished pianist, the nerd and more. Not to mention never being able to really understand what any adult had to say. Could any of this be the root of his issues?

We could go on further and discuss his athletic abilities, or rather the lack of athletic abilities. He could never quote Charlie Sheen’s “Winning” and mean it because poor ole Charlie Brown didn't know what it was like to be a winner. He fell for the same football trick every time. Even when he knew better and she promised him it would be different, it never was. He’d run toward his goal, lift his leg to kick it and then Lucy would  pull it away at the crucial moment leaving poor ole Charlie Brown on his back wondering to himself, “Why did I fall for that again?!”

Through the years there is one thing I've noticed about him, he never gave up. He never gave up on his friends. He never gave up on his dream of pitching a winning game. He never gave up on kicking that football. Most importantly though, Charlie Brown never gave up on Charlie Brown. With all the hindrances in his life, who would blame him if he, in turn, blamed all those obstacles for his lack of success? But he didn't. He always got up and spent time with the same friends, feed the same dog and tried once more to kick that ball. He suited up every Saturday, believing today could be the day I pitch a winning game. He simply never gave up. His problems are not unlike ours each day and yet he got out of bed each day. With all the rejection in his life, Charlie Brown never gave up.

Today, as you struggle with what to do or if it’s worth the effort to chase your dream, remember that little Peanuts character and NEVER EVER GIVE UP, for today could be the day.

WORK SMART AT WORKING HARD

When I was a kid I did what I could to not work hard or even work at all. When Mom would tell me on a Saturday morning I had to go to the basement and sweep I would remind her that the allergy doctor said I was allergic to household dust. Therefore, in my mind, the logical thing to do was stay right where I was, watching Saturday morning TV on our 19 inch television. Needless to say I had to go work at cleaning my room. If I knew in time work was coming my way I hit the woods before the list of chores was handed down. Perhaps every kid has this aversion to work and why we always got mad at those “slave driving” parents of ours. Although I hated it, I remember hearing, “Things worth having are worth working for” and “If you have to work for it you will appreciate it more.” So in my family, in my wheelhouse of experiences, hard work was a great practice to exhibit. Through hard work you can get what you want and your needs are met. However all the hard working people I knew were just as poor (lower middle class sometimes) as we were. Happy, it seemed, but still poor.

As I grew the phrase, “Work smart, not hard” resonated with me because, well first off I hated hard work. But what appealed to me was it was being said by seemingly rich people. CEOs, entertainers, and well to do business executives driving nice cars living in big houses. That is what I want. I want the big house on the lake or ocean. I want the new truck and car and boat and well you get the picture. So I determined I need to develop my mind. Become smart and not have to work hard. Plans were developed. Short term as well as long term goals were listed. Books were read and sacrifices made all in the effort of working smart and not hard. Riches had to be right around the corner, right? Nope, I still had to budget. Watch my pennies (yes pennies not dollars).

Then it dawned on me, phrases like those mentioned above aren’t just clichés, they have stood the test of time for a reason. The reason is this, they go together. What I have realized is you have to work both smart and hard in order to achieve success of any kind. When you look at the areas in the lives of successful people they have been smart about the hard work they have done. They stay determined to move forward and focused on what they want to achieve then work hard at it. Plans are developed, relationships are made and meetings are strategically made all in an effort to achieve their goals set. Intelligently working hard.

I think working smart encompasses the idea of knowing when to punch the clock to go home for the evening. As a comedian I always have an “eye open” looking for a new joke premise and I would imagine successful business people are the same way. In today’s world it seems 24/7 work week is the way to go in order to get ahead then never enjoying it once you’re there. Worse yet, missing out on what is all around you now. Such a heavy effort of “working smart not hard” may not be that smart at all. We are not designed to work like that without sustaining a long term negative effects. Our burn out often sets in, relationships suffer or just end, and our bodies just wear out, even die prematurely. Working smart means knowing when to take that break to go fishing or to the kids little league game.

Let’s promote a new phrase in our pursuit of success. Let’s all work smart at working hard. In doing so our 24/7 lives will be balanced and we will be much happier.

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

They call it Daylight Savings Time. I will wake up in the morning still tired wishing more sleep was in my future. While the Sun still waits to make its appearance, I’ll be sitting in my truck waiting to take my daughter to school. Sipping on a cup of hot, black coffee I begin my day. Feeling like I have lost sleep, lost daylight and wishing I could lose consciousness for a couple more hours, I get to work. The only saving grace is knowing the days seem to be longer so I have more daylight to accomplish what needs done. More daylight to see the next rung I need to take for this ladder of success. Then I get to thinking it’s odd to have more daylight when we are supposed to be saving it and what exactly are we saving it for?

Saving things is what we have done our whole lives it seems. When I was a kid I save Elvis clippings, baseball cards and a peculiar looking rock or two. As I grew I was told I need to save money for a rainy day, in case an emergency pops up you need to have it. I have a collection of toy race cars that I have saved over the years because “one day they’ll be worth something.” At least that is what I tell myself. I have a collection of John Wayne movies because, well why not? Books, oh my goodness, you should see the books I have saved over the years or even bought recently. Saving them to read and many of them to read again. Fishing lures, poles, and many other “valuable” items surround me. I have even save the first coffee cup I had a drink of coffee in. It has a crack in and leaks but I still have it.

Saving stuff. Why do we do it? Why do we put things up on a shelf or have keepsakes near us? The nearest I can figure it is, we save because it is important to us. Or the reason we are saving is worthy of the sacrifice. We sacrifice time, money, space and a variety of other interests just to save for what interests us the most. However, I was never good at saving except for what I wanted the most. Some even find that difficult even painful as they try. Ask any kid with a dollar in their pocket, they’ll tell you.

Daylight though, how do you save daylight? I have heard the expression, “Let’s get a movin’ we’re burning daylight.” But never, “Hey there, let’s be careful to save some daylight.” Who exactly are we saving it for anyway? I am not sure if we are really saving it as much as we are just moving it around so our evenings are longer and we feel like we have accomplished more with our daylight. Whatever it is, saving it or just moving it, I don’t plan on wasting any of it. I am saving too many “important” things up on a shelf afraid they will lose their value if I put them into use. But not my day. Not anymore.

I choose from henceforth to no longer save my daylight but rather I will spend it, use it and above all else enjoy it.

I'LL SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD

It’s 3am and nothing in the refrigerator looks good for a famed “Midnight” snack. Warm milk tastes awful so insomnia will win this night, as most nights. What choice is there other than turning the TV back on, grab a glass of ice water and write. I find a biopic about Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis (one of my favorites) and settle into what can only be described as an “I hope I don’t collapse later” kind of night. It’s dark outside and I should have fallen to sleep a long time ago but alas here I am with Martin & Lewis, my computer and a cold glass of ice water.

I guess there are many causes that keeps one from getting the sleep they need. Lucky for me, I've never required much, so four or five hours is enough, I guess. But what causes insomnia or as my mom used to call it, “the big eye?” It could be a disorder, or just too much sleep the night before. Perhaps its stress or just a lot on your mind. Could there be an argument made for a bit of all of that or maybe other stuff? Maybe it’s just a colicky baby crying, a new puppy or your babies just not being babies anymore. Whatever the reason, here you sit not sleeping.

What keeps me awake at night varies from night to night. Some nights it’s my sinuses going crazy. Those nights I just hate. I can’t breathe, I can’t get comfortable and my head eventually just hurts. Other nights I lay there and just think. I think about what is on my mind, what stresses me out or a new bit for my show. Even a mind like mine can have a lot on it. There are bills that need to be paid, stress about what it will take to move my career up that proverbial ladder and then there’s the private stuff of which is none of your business. I feel like I should sleep. I yawn, feel my eyelids droop but yet can’t pull the trigger to doze off to dreamland.

So here I am doing this weekly blog, hoping you read it and know there is one other person who can’t sleep either. If I’m going to be nocturnal I figure I might as well get something done, right? I hear this is one of the characteristics of those that become great. Not necessarily the insomnia thing but the getting stuff accomplish in these moments. I was once told by one of my college professors we waste so much time in the bathroom when we don’t take something to read or work on. As weird or gross as that may sound, it’s true.  Insomnia is that way as well, if I am going to sit here I might as well get something accomplished.

So in the words of Sam Elliott’s character, Wade Garrett, in the movie Roadhouse, “I will get all the sleep I need when I’m dead.” Until then, here I sit, awake & alone taking another step up the ladder to success.