Finding Your Voice

I love the TV show NASHVILLE and watch it every week. Even if I am on the road or scheduling prevents me from viewing it, I’ve got my DVR set up to record it. So if I haven’t watched it on my laptop in a hotel someplace then it is waiting on me to get home. There are several reasons I like the show but mainly the songs and I have been to a lot of the places they show. Put simply, I love Nashville both the city and the television show. This new season started with Rayna James recovering in the hospital as a result of a near fatal car accident. After struggling for weeks not being able to sing, she makes a statement that really struck a chord with me.  She simply said, I lost my voice and don’t know if I will find it again.”

When I heard that line I thought, “WOW, how profound a statement to make.” Now I know she was referring to her actual singing voice but I thought about how many people in their lives don’t know what their voice is. When my oldest daughter was younger all she wanted to do was be a Marine Biologist. Dolphins where her thing and she researched colleges while she was still in middle school in order to accomplish that goal. But her Mom and I knew that isn’t where her talents lie. She is an amazing creator of stuff. Her mind just works in a way that enables her to create amazing promotional material in moments that would take the average person days, even if they ever get it. It took her awhile to find that out herself. She even enrolled in college wanting to be an engineer before actually finding her voice.  My other daughter is still searching for hers and at this point it depends on the week what that voice is but I am confident she will find it.

Finding ones voice is more than their career choice, it’s figuring out who they are and being happy with the results. As a comedian I had to ask myself that question, “Who am I? What is my voice?” Once I figured that out my career started taking off. However, I hear and see many younger comedians struggling with this that in some ways seems so simple, but I know it’s not. Too many want to be someone they are not because they think that is what it takes to be successful. Funny thing about imitating someone is people only imitate originals – only those that have already found their voice. No one copies a copy. I think that is why some childhood stars find it hard to move on as adults, they haven’t found their voice i.e. Miley Cyrus. Finding your voice is about knowing who you are as a person and letting that carry over to your career. Your voice is who you are in your core. So look hard for it because it is worth the effort.

Your voice is unique to you and you are an original. Find your voice.

NOW WHAT?

I recently had the dream show of my career. I returned home to perform in the theater I grew up around. That venue was the one I would go by as a kid and wish I could stand on that stage. Well on September 28^th 2013 I did that very thing. I stood there and gave a nervous yet very funny comedy show. As I looked back on the video of that night, I saw they were laughing from start to finish. When I left the stage I had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Although, because of the nerves, I forgot some jokes I wanted to do, my mind went blank for a couple seconds that seemed like an eternity and I was shaking but no one seemed to notice. However, the question today is: NOW WHAT?

Once I have accomplished this dream, now what will I do? I know the answer to that question because I have been asking and answering it to myself a million times in the last few weeks. But isn’t that always the case when something is accomplished? I was watching the movie El Dorado with John Wayne and James Caan and that question was asked. That’s the time when I had to ask myself the same thing. James Caan’s character, “Mississippi” had spent the last couple years hunting the three guys that had murdered the man who raised him. He had just killed the last man when he met Cole Thornton (John Wayne). After Mississippi accomplished his two year quest Cole asked him, “Have you given any thought to what you will do now?” Basically…Now What?

It’s a question that needs asked periodically in life when something is accomplished. When your job changes or is dissolved, now what? When you lose someone you love, now what? When a relationship ends or a new one begins, now what? Those two words carry a lot of unforeseen weight, until they are used then it’s as if the weight of the world rushes over you.  I think it’s this way because you think about and look forward to (good or bad) something so much that often what will happen afterward isn’t given much thought, if any, at all.

With 2013 winding down and 2014 already starting to ramp up with all of its unknowns and challenges, I need to ask myself, NOW WHAT? I have had a pretty good year. I got to accomplish a dream, my calendar was semi-full and people are beginning to think I may just make it. As I look at 2014 I’ve got to ask myself, now what? What will I do to move my dreams to another level? What will I do to take on new challenges? How will I take my comedy career to that stratosphere in which the big dogs fly? What can I do now that will get me where I need...want...to be?

With that I ask you as well as myself - NOW WHAT?

A Little Bit of Nothing in New Orleans

I have started, deleted and restarted this version of the Red Boots & a Smile blog I bet a half a dozen times or more. Sometimes it’s just hard to be creative. Sometimes it’s tough to draw from all the thoughts that run through my head and narrow it down to just one. Sometimes I just have nothing, nada, blank. Should I be funny or profound? Should I report about my stay here in New Orleans or just life on the road in general? Perhaps a story about me being an original Bigfoot Hunter would be enjoyable for you to read. But here I am at a desk in a hotel room with nothing.

It’s raining outside so walking around the Big Easy would be miserable. I hate getting wet by the rain when all I really want to do is have fun. There are things I could do while here though even in the rain but at this point I just need to get ready for the show I have tonight. This town remains one of my favorite places to visit. The history, the fun, and the ghosts that haunt every nook and cranny make for an exciting weekend each time I am here. If only I had more time.

I could write about how hungry I am becoming and would love a hamburger or Cajun food of some kind. Perhaps I will grab a bite to satisfy the craving I have. Yesterday I had shrimp and some beignets as I always do here. I usually have the crawfish but they are out of season so the one item I was looking forward to the most is still in water waiting for me to return in the spring. So today I will just have to settle for some pulled pork in the hotel lounge.

Today is just a day to work and get ready for the show. I had enough of a “day off” yesterday. Got to keep my nose to the grindstone (which by the way never made much sense to me) and get stuff done. Always stuff to do and get accomplished. I sometimes feel guilty taking a break but that feeling never lasts too awfully long. I am not sure if I would ever have enough time to see and do all I would like to do here in New Orleans. Theirs is just so much here.

But alas, I will leave here tomorrow on a plane back to Florida having left things here undone. They will just have to wait until I come back and I will be back. This is the cool benefit of doing what I do. Being a comedian has afforded me the opportunity to visit places and do things that I would have otherwise never seen or done. So as I conclude this little blog about nothing, I sit here in my hotel room grateful for what I have gotten to do and this job that allows me to do it.

NFL: Where Dreams become Reality

The first NFL game of the season was last night and this weekend we will all be glued to our televisions watching game after game as a long awaited season gets started. Many, I will even say most, of us will be watching just for the pure joy of the game. Others will watch because their spouse makes them and still others just to keep up with their fantasy football teams. Whatever the reason, it’s the ultimate struggle of strength and will to achieve victory. Every week each team pursues their goal to get to the playoffs and ultimately fulfilling their dream of playing in the Super Bowl. If you have ever suited up in a peewee league or even in the back yard, you have dreamed of playing in that ultimate battle and received the championship trophy. Of course you are always on the winning team. Why dream about playing in it if you are going to dream of winning it. That’s just silly to dream of something and then just shortchange your dream by not achieving the ultimate goal. Dream big or just don’t dream at all.

I remember as a kid playing in the family football game. I would be on one side while my cousin and best friend I had as a child, would play on the other. We did this just so on every other play he and I would “fight” just like they would during those Sunday afternoon professional games. To us it was the ultimate game, our National Championship, our Super Bowl but the odd thing about those gridiron battles, I don’t remember who won a single game. It was for the love of the game and just to have fun that we played. I do however, believe those games helped establish what accomplishing dreams is all about and I think if you ask the pros they will say the same thing. In spite of the work, effort and even the sweet it is supposed to be fun. No one dreams of things that aren't any fun. You don’t wake up excited to tell about the awesome dream of a root canal you just had and can’t wait to fulfill it. Dreams are fun.

Those early games also taught me that, if I want to achieve my dream, make it a reality, it takes effort. All I knew as a child of what I wanted to do as a grown-up was perform. I have always been a ham. I just didn't know how to achieve that dream so I tried a variety of efforts until I landed where I am today, a National touring comedian. I am not sure my cousin Paul knew what he wanted in those days either, but today he owns a very successful business in Huntington, WV, even winning awards for his efforts.  Those early days molded us into guys that know what it’s like to have a passion for what we want to do. They taught us to do all we can to make our dreams real even when there is a little struggle because those battles never last too long.

So, as I watch football all weekend I’m going to see dreams becoming reality then think of my own as it continues to unfold before my very eyes.

FOOTBALL

Today begins a long awaited day for many people. Today is the first Saturday of college football season. Even the most casual of football fans look forward to this day and will make this an all day event. Hor d'oeuvres finger foods, and grills will be fired up keeping the football watchers well fed. Refrigerators are full of pop, beer and various of beverages to stay hydrated during the many hours of gridiron battles. Then there are those families that struggle over which game to watch so they have a different game on each TV in the house with the one exception (these kids have to have something to watch in order to not get in trouble).

Fans go crazy when this season hits. They paint their faces, wear a team jersey and exchange their fine china for football shaped dipping bowls for the chips. Never leaving the comfort of home, we root for our favorite teams all the while turning out homes into giant tailgating parties. This is the time of year where families and friends get together to celebrate the ability to keep score as they cheer their team to a surefire win. However, on occasion our team comes up short and cleaning up after such a game makes the task hard to complete.

All this talk of football calls my mind back to my youth. When I was a kid I played in Jr. High school on the community league and we lost every single game. We were the Bears and how we growled at the beginning of each game. We were ready. We were winners. We were champions. During the game that’s how I played each game but to no avail. But these weren't my fondest football game memories. Those are the ones apart from the organized team. The most fun I had was playing in the field down the street in my neighborhood.

It wasn't really a field. Our football field was the backyards of several houses that were aligned perfectly, almost begging for us to play.  These were the best times. My brother and I would meet up with all the neighborhood boys take a couple footballs and head to our field. It didn’t matter to us if it was rainy or snow on the ground, we would play. Many a time I would return home covered in mud, wet and on occasion in need of a band-aid.  We kept score and there was a definite winner and looser but we didn’t care, we got to play.

No protection, no refs, no stripes on the field, just boys having fun playing a game the whole country loves. Now, none of us who played in that field went on to play in college. So no cameras ever caught us make the “play of the game” but we didn't care. We were all winners on that field, because we played for the love of the game. We played and not once was there a dispute on where to spot the ball or if it was touchdown or not. We just played.

This is how I approach my comedy career and how I suggest you approach yours. It’s for the love of the game. I’m just going to play.

SICK DAYS

Being sick is never a picnic but when you’re kid it seems to be “worse”. There is lying around, whining, watching what you want to on TV and a bunch of other just awful endurances. That’s the way it is here in my house. One sick daughter, the Doctor said was the first case of the flu he had seen for the season. That’s my girl, always striving to be first. So what has she done today, you might ask? Absolutely nothing. Yesterday she did nothing and today she did nothing. Nothing is the word around our house. Well that isn’t exactly true, we did have a National Treasure Double Feature. Being sick is so bad when you are a kid. The things they will do to get out of school.

I remember when I was kid all the things I wished would happen so I would not have to go to school. There were all the snow days we prayed for during the winter. Then when it rained perhaps a magical flood would wash the school away. Maybe aliens would land or a giant, land walking monster catfish would climb out of East Fork creek to attack the school. But time after time, I would have my dreams crushed. I would even check my forehead every morning for the off chance I would have a fever and have to stay home.

Then along came a guy named Ferris Bueller and his shenanigans which all started because he faked an illness just to take a day off from school. The good times that followed were classic. He was in a parade, had dinner in a nice restaurant, picked up his girlfriend from school and attended ballgame. He was every guy’s hero. He did what we all wanted to do. Ferris was a leader, an icon for us all to aspire. Even when his best friend wrecked his dad’s classic car, it all seemed ok. Why couldn’t all of our “sick” days be like that?

However, today none of that occurred. My day began by making some French toast for our breakfast. Then as I just sat on my end of the couch attempting to work, my little girl ran a fever. While I read, she laid here with her head on my lap and together we watched Nicholas Cage discover two world changing treasures. From the perspective of my high school youth this day was not every exciting. It was certainly nothing to write home about. There were no fast cars, near encounters with the principal or a run in with my dad on the way to lunch.

Today, though, was a very memorable day. I spent it with my daughter who is a freshman in high school. We laughed and talked. I got to hug and “baby” her. We ate and just spent time together. As I look at both of my girls, one just got in from her first week of college, I think how the years have just flown by. They are becoming beautiful young women with big hearts and will change the world in which they live. But to me, their Daddy, they will both just be my little girls. So Ferris, your sick day was nothing compared to the one I got to spend with my little girl today.

I hope there are more “sick” days to come but I am afraid those also are slowly coming to an end.

THE WOODS

When I was a kid I was an expert at playing. I could say, “Red rover, red rover, send John on over” with the best of them. King of the mountain, lawn darts or any number of other neighborhood games I was good, perhaps even great at them. Then behind the house where I grew up were “The Woods.”

The Woods is where I spent summer after summer. We would leave the house early, grab our BB guns and head off to explore. It was in those woods I learned to look for something new. A new section, a new ‘cave,’ or find a new place to fish. My brother and I were not afraid of getting lost or hurt or to even run across danger. In those woods I was in my element. I was where I belonged.

I remember one summer when I was “convinced” Bigfoot lived in those woods and so we set off to find him. What would we do if we found him? Well, we would have captured him, shot him or did whatever it took to succeed in our endeavor. It was the thrill of the adventure we were after. Success, to us, was inevitable, no other option. We had a plan of sorts. Step one was find Bigfoot. Step two was bringing him home in some capacity – dead or alive. Each time, summer after summer, I had a plan I was focused on and committed to.

But as I look back and reminisce, it was never about the trees, the caves or even Bigfoot, it was more about the imagination, the dreams and the fearless exploration. Fear of the unknown never entered into our consciousness. The excitement of adventures got me up every morning and all I had was a bb gun. It wasn’t even a fancy 10 pump but a little lever action Daisy Red Rider. But I still was not afraid. With that gun and my wits I was ready to take on whatever stood in front of me. No obstacle was too big. No “monster” was too much to handle. No matter how deep in the woods I went, getting lost was never an issue. Then I grew up.

Growing up I have misplaced that drive, that sense of adventure and imagination. It was those three elements when I was a kid in Kentucky that gave me a plan, a purpose and I was committed to it, focused on it. I was a success or at least I thought I was….no I was. As I sit here in this hotel room not knowing if my truck will get me home (come on Sally, we know you can do it), I want to find that boy in Kentucky again. He was the one who was not afraid of the unknown, the one who took a measly, inadequate bb gun and set off to hunt Bigfoot, the one that woke up each morning with purpose and was focused on it, the one with a plan he was committed to.

Today, August 17, 2013 I will be that boy again. I will have purpose, a plan with focus and commitment. Today, I will explore the woods again. I will step out on the adventure.

Bring it on….I’ve got my BB gun.

Dreams As Vast As The Stars

In the classic movie, The Lion King, Mufasa tells young Simba the stars in the night sky were the kings of the past looking down on him, watching over him. Later, when Simba, Timon and Pumbaa were lying in a field staring up at the stars they began to discuss what those twinkly things were. While each had a theory, only one looked at them with any real sense of connection. They brought back memories, pain and in a way some wishful thinking. So, my dear reader, if one night you are out on your porch having a drink finding yourself staring up at the stars, what will you think about?

If you have never given much thought to the idea, let me try to help. Do the stars spark up dreams you once had or even still have? How about memories of being a kid catching lightening bugs? What about lost love and wonder if they ever think about you? Perhaps those stars in the dark velvet sky cause you to just get lost in yourself…in your own mind. Maybe you are one of those people who just doesn't allow yourself the luxury of such an opportunity – to you I say, “You’re really missing out.”

Growing up in Kentucky, being out at night was a common occurrence, whether we would be fishing or just playing, the starlit sky was there. As if the floor of Heaven had little holes poked in it with the light shining through. “Can you find the Big Dipper? What about the Little Dipper?” was often heard as we searched the vast expanse for those constellations every kid has seen for centuries. As the years would pass, I would still look up trying to find the dippers and other constellations only not as often, then into the house I would quickly go shutting my door to the night.

However, now days it’s different, I take the time to notice them. To me they are something more – a connection. When I was a kid looking at those little glowing lights, I had dreams like most and like those stars, my dreams seemed like a million miles away, yet very real. They were spectacular but distant and as I grew up they seemed to get farther away from my grasp but still no less amazing. That is until I decided, that kid didn't die. He didn't stop dreaming. He simply just got older but his dreams were still very much alive only dormant.

My dreams, as a kid were more than that, they were my goals – very real and very attainable. As I sit here, my childhood a long ways in my past, my dreams are becoming a reality all because I allowed myself to dream again, to look at the stars again. It seems, they aren't the kings of the past at all nor just big balls of gas light years away, they are where my dreams have been stored for me to find, to reach for and live again.

So tonight I will venture outside, look at those stars and continue to dream….those remarkable and amazing dreams like those stars.

INVEST in YOU

The other day I was enjoying a casual conversation with a friend about her recent successes in taking a Zumba class. She relayed to me, in her mind, she was great at the dance moves that is until she saw herself in front of the wall sized mirror and realized she didn’t know who the person was she was looking at but it wasn’t the same one in her head. Then we joked about how when the music stopped her body didn’t. She has a balanced perspective on who she is and is taking the time to invest in herself for a healthier life. A true lesson for every one of us to learn is, we need to take time to invest in ourselves. Put our money where our mouths are so to speak.

Physical investment is only one part to investing in ourselves, there is also the mental aspect to our lives. What do you do to keep yourself not only sharp but also from going a bit crazy? As I write this, I look around my office and see bookshelves lined with several hundred books most all I’ve read. On my desk alone are six in my “books to read” stack. They range from a book on recovering my creative self to one on ghost stories from New Orleans to a biography on Frank Sinatra. Needless to say I like to read. I also like puzzles from crosswords to brainteasers to seek and finds. This is, in a nutshell, how I like to keep my brain active and sharp (well as sharp as I can get it).

Have you ever felt like “Atlas” carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders or “Sisyphus” pushing a boulder up a mountain only for it to roll back down and having to start over? With the pressures of life and work we need ways to keep from going insane and letting life control us. For me, I keep it simple but varied. I’ll grab my fishing pole and head down to the pond or I work in my yard (shhh…everyone thinks I hate yard work). I tend to my roses (yes I know…shut up) or go for a bike ride. These are just a few ways I use to escape and rejuvenate myself. You need to find your own insanity stoppers and when you do trust me when I say you really will become more productive and focused.

Do you remember the old movie, “All Dogs go to Heaven?” It’s a funny movie that gives a spiritual aspect to the K9 world (notice it said nothing about cats…and for good reason). Without arguing theology, this movie lets us know we are more than just physical and mental but we also have a spiritual part to us. Now I come from a Christian perspective and approach this area in my life from that world view. So to invest in this part of who I am, I’ll read the Bible, devotionals and variety of materials that help me keep a “love my neighbor” attitude. I also attend church to worship my Creator. When I read those self-help books, they get strained through this filter.

I know investing takes time, effort and sacrifice and many say they can’t afford to invest….but I say, YOU can’t afford not to!

IMPACT the Pond You're In

Growing up in Kentucky, some of my fondest memories was the times spent fishing. Think Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn and you’ll get a glimpse of what summer was like for my brother and I. As the morning sun began to shine through the oak trees scattered through those Kentucky hills, two redneck boys could be found walking to a pond with fishing poles in one hand and bait in the other. Most mornings it wasn’t too long before one of us was bringing in a catfish which would immediately go on a stringer so we’d have it for supper that night. We would sit there all day telling stories about school, our buddies, and of course girls all while hauling in the fish. Those were some of the best summers of my life.

When the fishing slowed and the afternoon sun began to beat down on us, the daydreaming would begin. Staring out into the water with the birds fluttering and the squirrels playing in the trees behind us, many thoughts…dreams…would invade our minds. Although I never asked my brother about what he was thinking, I dreamed of great things. Thoughts of celebrity, being rich and having a mustang filled my mind. Those are still the dreams I’m pursuing in my quiet moments with a little variance but still, they’re my dreams. However, the fun really began when I would catch my brother in a trance, like he was in a whole other place.

My brother, Mike, loves fishing as much as I do…perhaps a gnats hair more. So when I’d catch him sitting there off in his own world I did what older brothers do…it’s in our job description...I’d trick him. I would pick up a small rock and toss it in the water just out of his line of vision. The sound of splashing as the rock hit the water always brought him back to the real world and the words, “Hey, was that a fish?!” were uttered almost immediately. Once he caught on to what I was doing, it became a rock throwing contest. Who could throw the farthest, the biggest or make the biggest splash. The fish weren’t biting anyway, so why not.

Soon we began skipping rocks, counting when the rock touched the water to see how many times we could make it skip. Who would go home that day as the best Rock Skipper of Boyd County? What a great way to spend a lazy summer afternoon. If you’ve never skipped a rock across a pond then quite frankly your childhood has been robbed of a great memory. It’s such an accomplishment to see a rock you’ve thrown skip 12 or 14 times across the water. As we played I noticed each time the rock hit the water it would make an impact. Ripples would spread across the water and it didn’t matter how small of a rock, there was always a ripple. That’s when I realized everything has an IMPACT.

Over the next several blogs I am going to write about how each of us can have an IMPACT - An IMPACT on our own lives, on the lives of others and especially on our careers, specifically as a comedian. IMPACT will be an acronym for Invest, Motivate, Purpose, Authenticity, Communication and Teamwork. Come back to see how YOU can I.M.P.A.C.T. the Pond You Are In.