It’s April 13, 2014 and I sitting in the World Famous
Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge in Nashville, TN (Airport edition). In here there’s good
music, a packed house and something to eat. Hanging out with complete strangers
singing classic songs is a pretty good way to spend a 3 hour layover. I met a
cool young country singer trying make a living doing what he loves to do and
he’s good at it.
As much as I love town and a part of me is tempted to just
stay, I must get back to Orlando. You see, tomorrow is a very special day, it’s
my baby girl’s birthday. It isn't one big ones but that doesn't make it any
less special. She turns 15 tomorrow and has been counting it down since New
Year’s Day I believe. She thinks that is fun and for her I suppose it is. I
remember my birthdays back in the day, the anticipation of its arrival, the
excitement and the feeling of becoming older, so I get it. But it still doesn't
change the fact my baby girl is getting older and it hurt a little.
This little girl growing up was my shadow, wanting to go
where I go and do what I did. She wanted to be fishing when I went fishing or
just sit next to me on the couch. Now days she is more interested in manicures
and boys than worms and fishing (although she will still go when asked – once a
redneck girl always a redneck girl). The times where she sits next to me
snuggled up on the couch is getting fewer and fewer as the days pass by. She
thinks it’s fun to watch Say Yes to the
Dress while to me it just means she’s growing up and already dreaming of
leaving me to begin a new life. But as a father it’s what I do. I raised her to
be strong, independent and bait her own hook when fishing. There’s still a tinge
of hurt with each birthday that passes. With
this one she gets her permit already in anticipation of the next one.
She spends hours in the bathroom doing make-up, her hair and
becoming a young woman. With each birthday the time draws nearer to when she
will gain the favor of a young man and leave. Gone will be the little girl who
scared me with blood streaming down her face from jumping on her sister’s bed.
The one who asked me to lay beside her and tell her bedtime stories. Next on
the agenda will be to teach her to drive and she wants to drive my truck, which
is such a big girl thing to do. Then before I know will be graduation, college
and well other events I am not looking forward to but I will always do the
Daddy thing, smile.
On Monday, we will celebrate her birth. We will celebrate
her growing up. As for me, I will put on a brave Daddy smile masking the hurt
of losing my little girl to this young woman blowing out those candles.
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